Isaiah 53:3a (NKJV)
“He is despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”
It is everywhere. Those who look one way make fun of those who look another way. Those who have money look down on those who don’t – or vice versa. Those who are intelligent dismiss those who aren’t. There is never a day that goes by that there isn’t some form of rejection either exhibited to us, on us, or that we deliver to someone else.
We all have areas of rejection that have likely taken root deep inside of us. A tender spot, sensitive to touch. We know it, so we can easily identify it. For some, it was a parent who left them or treated them poorly. For others, it was the leaving of a spouse. For yet others, it was words spoken in ridicule or hatred directly to them.
The problem is those pain points accumulate and start to spread and take over other areas of our lives. The result is that we notice anything that might remotely appear to be rejection and either run from it or lash out against it. When we run, we end up avoiding life and opportunities for growth because we fear the experience of more pain. When we lash out, we injure others and our pain is intensified because we are feeding the pain within. Neither solves our problem. We must stop the cycle. It takes work. It takes practice. It takes intentionality. It takes God.
If we’re honest, sometimes we are the source of rejection. We must ask for forgiveness from those we’ve injured and ask God to show us the source. We need help to stop the cycle that is originating from within us. We must deal with it, or it will always affect us, our interactions with others, and our perceived position in Christ. The good news is, He will help us.
If we are on the receiving end, I think our response is three-fold. First, we funnel the rejection and pain to Christ. I can’t explain it, but when I come before the Lord with pain or hurt, whether it was done intentionally or unintentionally, I seek His face and remember the cross where He bore the worst humiliation and rejection possible. Remember, on the cross, even God the Father turned away from Christ. (Matthew 27:46) When I remember that, I ask Him to bear my pain and rejection as well. It is too much for me to bear and I need Him to carry it for me. There is relief and a level of peace because I know He carried it before and will carry it again, if I let Him. We must give the rejection and associated hurt to Christ.
The second is to refuse to accept rejection as truth in our lives. We renounce it. There is nothing that would make the devil happier than to have us live under the fog of unworthiness and inadequacy. Renouncing means we choose to not accept what was done or said as truth in our lives. We do not accept what is being whispered in our ears or what we’re being told to think or remember. We look to Christ who already bore our imperfections and inadequacies and loves us anyway. (Romans 5:8)
The third is to forgive the one who rejected us. We cannot continue to hold on to the hurt and put blame on another person, whether it is someone we know or don’t know. Unforgiveness will cause the wound to fester and make it difficult for us to move forward unhindered. We must choose to forgive them for their words, actions, inactions or whatever it is. We have to take our hands off, stop pointing our finger at them and pray for them. Pray that God will show mercy and heal whatever rejection may be in their lives that causes them to lash out. We release them, give them to God and walk away.
In this fight, we must remember that we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood. (Ephesians 6:12) The devil will use anything and anyone he can to wound us and throw us in disarray. We have a Helper. It is not that the blows from another do not land. Sometimes they land solidly and forcefully, but we must learn to deflect. We must believe and learn that our value and worth is not based on what someone else does or says to us. We must learn to walk in His love instead of the hatred of someone else. Our value and worth are based on Jesus Christ who took the rejection for us.
Read Psalm 139. It is my “go to” passage when I need to remember how loved I am by the Father. You are loved too. You are not rejected. As a follower of Jesus Christ you are accepted in the body of believers (Ephesians 1:3-6). You have a loving family you haven’t met yet. (1 John 3:1a) You are my brother or sister in Christ. You have a cloud of witnesses cheering you on to the finish line. (Hebrews 12:1-2) I am cheering you on right now! Give it all to Him; the hurt and rejection as well as the joy and success. He deserves all that is good. He has borne and will bear all that is bad. You are His, never rejected and fully accepted in Christ because He has already borne the rejection for us.